Caitlin ♥ Elizabeth ♥ Alexa ♥ McGuinness

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Caitlin Elizabeth Alexa McGuinness Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

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┊　　 ┊┊　　✿✿SOMEONE
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┊ 　 ✿✿WHO IS
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✿VERY SPECIAL



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Affectionately know as Wiggly Woo (we sung it to her all the time!)

Much loved daughter of Zoe and Alex.
Sister of Ria, and new baby Caelia.
Caitlin leaves a whole family behind that love and miss her very much. She touched so many people. She was so very brave and endured so much in her 13 months here. Caitlin was an Angel on Earth, and has now gone back to live in Heaven, until we are re-united again.

Every day that passes is a day closer to seeing you again...

♥.·° ☆°·.♥.·°☆ °.♥♥.·°☆ °·.♥.·°☆ °♥.·° ☆°·.♥

Caitlin l was killed by the incompetence of the NHS. Due to the failings of the hospital where Caitlin was born she was severely brain damaged (please read below for full story). The inquest into her death started on 7th September 2009. The midwife who delivered Caitlin failed to attend, so the coroner has summonsed her to come. More evidence of medical negligence has recently come to light in a report compiled by Dr Karen Horridge in Sunderland. We are waiting for a second date to hear further evidence and get the verdict.

Pregnancy and Birth
We were having another GIRL!!!! YES!!! Just what I wanted, a cute little sister for Ria to play with. I had hopes of them being each others best friends, bridesmaids. I looked forward to taking them shopping and doing their hair pretty. We went for a private 4d scan when I was 30 weeks pregnant. It was amazing! There she was, all tucked up and safe inside me. We saw her opening her mouth up, it looked like she was drinking the amniotic fluid. Caitlin waved around and put on a show for us! Sadly this would be the only time we ever saw our daughter do these things.
I booked into the care of QEH Woolwich. How I regret that choice and I will until the day I die. Caitlin Im sorry, I should've got out of there, to a place where you would have been born safely. I didnt know. I just didnt think this would happen to me...to you.



My pregnancy was handled negligently. I was a high risk patient, but nobody appreciated the risk my baby was at. During my 22 week scan they found I had a low lying placenta and pre-eclampsia. I had a 2 severe bleeds but the hospital failed to act. By the time I was induced at 42 weeks, Caitlin was at real danger. The unit was closed to admissions due to the high number of births it was experiencing. The hospital was chaotic and dirty. The midwives were uncaring, rude and often disappeared for long periods. When I was in labour me and Alex were left for over 2 hours, pressed the buzzer, but nobody came....I later found out the reason for this was that the midwife was caring for THREE other women, one of which was a high risk patient like me.
Caitlin was in fetal distress for 3 hours, which is shown on the CTG trace but nobody, not one doctor or midwife recognised it. They just left the syntocinon drip running in. Pumping me full of drugs that sent me into hyperstimulation (strong, close together contractions, very very painful) and compromised Caitlin even more. A ventouse delivery could have been performed at about 11pm, and Caitlin would have escaped all harm. Because of a failiure to recognise my baby was compromised, Caitlin was left to be born by Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery at 11.45pm.
Caitlin was born blue and not breathing. We knew something was wrong when we saw blood coming from her mouth and nose. The second midwife took her off and they crash called the paediatric team. We were in a state of shock. I remember the room filling up with all these people. Their faces, they were so shocked. I knew it was bad, but I assumed she just needed a little help and that she would be fine. You find yourself hoping for the best, because the worst...losing her...no way....not my baby....
Caitlin had suffered birth asphyxia and was given neonatal resuscitation which involved a bag and mask with CPR, then intubation, ventilation and life support in SCBU. Within hours of her birth Caitlin showed signs of convulsions (classic sign of a birth injury). For this she was given medication and was put into a coma to calm the activity in her brain, as it was swollen and the pressure could be enough to kill her. Caitlin had multi-organ damage, to her heart, lungs, kidneys and liver. Her urine output was poor and there were concerns about her breathing. Gradually these organs showed signs of recovery. The main concern was her brain. Once a brain is starved of oxygen, the cells are killed, and these cannot regenerate or repair like other organs. Damage is irreversible and it varies depending on how severe and long the person is asphyxiated for. Tragically, Caitlin's was of the more catastrophic variety. There were widespread areas of damage to the brain. It was a very bleak outlook. We had the chaplain come to bless Caitlin. The family stood round and prayed, hoped for a miracle. I sat having a blood transfusion, and prayed to God..."take me instead, dont take her, please.."
I sat in SCBU day after day, night after night, refusing to leave her. I prayed, cried, shouted, collapsed to the floor. I asked WHY???? Why my little baby? Caitlin was born weighing 9lb5ozs and looking so normal. Now she was being pumped full of drugs, having machines breathing for her, having her soft baby hair shaved off for access into the vein in her head. What went so wrong? Why me???
All we wanted was for our little girl to live. As the days went by Caitlin stopped fitting, and started breathing on CPAP. I was overjoyed, little by little it looked like she was going to be OK. But Caitlin had no suck or swallow reflex, this was due to the brain damage. Caitlin was fed via a nasal gastric tube and later on a PEG. When she was breathing on her own the Doctor's started talking about discharging her, and asking what I wanted to do. I wanted her home! We had everything ready, a pram, cot, moses basket...all her pretty clothes and teddy bears. I wanted her with her family where we could care for her and love her. We had meetings with community nurses, social workers and was prepared physically for taking home a disabled child. Mentally and emotionally this was much harder. We had to begin to grieve for the child Caitlin should have been. But my God, we loved her so much, and saw straight through her problems. All that mattered was this precious girl, and her big sister. We explained to Ria that Caitlins brain was broken and we couldnt fix it, and told her she would not do all the things other babies do. Ria just smiled and said ok... Bless her she was so young and didnt understand.

We took Caitlin home at 3 weeks and we began learning how to tube feed her, how to give oral suctioning to clear her airways, to carry out daily physio, to manage her severe reflux (she would throw up after every feed) and muscle spasms. Handling was difficult as her legs were fixed in an extended scissored position, her arms were tightly curled up. Her head stayed floppy, and Caitlin had no motor control or voluntary movement. Caitlin really did suffer during her short life. It is hard to imagine the pain and it really upsets me to think of her trapped in her tiny frail body not being able to see or hear.

We hoped that her condition would improve but it didnt. We used a tumble form chair, we slept her on a wedge, we gave lots of sensory stimulation, physio, massage but nothing made her any more comfortable. We has this spinning toy with mirrors on it and Caits would stare at it as we spun it round.
Caitlin was under the frequent care of some 13 organistations. Everyone could see how ill she was and she was not growing due to her high energy needs plus her reflux. At 1 year she was admitted for failure to thrive. The hospital carried out lots of tests and found Caitlin had epilepsy. This was another set back and another hurdle, but I just accepted it as part of Caitlins disability.

A couple of weeks later, Caitlin was discharged to home and we were optimistic about the anti fitting medication and new feeding regime. I hoped that she would make some real improvement. For a short while she gained weight. Then in October I realised her gastrostomy site looked sore and scabby and that Caitlin was unwell and coughing alot. Caitlin often had chest infections due to the loss of her gag/suck/swallow reflex. Her oral secretions would drain into her lungs. I harassed the community nurse to come round and take a look at her, and eventually he turned up at 6.30pm. I explained my concerns, but he did not seem too worried and suggested I took Caitlin to the GP the next day. So I put Caitlin on her feeding pump, gave her meds and put her to sleep with a kiss and a cuddle. At 2am I heard her coughing, so I checked on her but she settled and I went back to sleep. At 7am I heard Caitlins feeding pump alarming to tell me the feed had finished. I went in and realised immediately that Caitlin was unconscious. I lifted her up and checked her breathing, she was not breathing so I shouted for her Daddy to call an ambulance. At this time she was still warm and had pink lips. I laid Caitlin down and started CPR which the hospital had taught me. The paramedics arrived and took over. We got to Lewisham hospital on the blue lights in 3 minutes, where they battled for 20 minutes to save our precious girl, but it was too late. She was gone. It took me a while to see her after they came and told me she had passed. I was scared. I dont know why... The hospital Chaplain Annie sat and prayed with her while I built up the courage to see my angel. When I did, I just picked her up like normal and held her so tightly. I had nothing to be scared of. She looked so peaceful and at rest. All the family came and held her, we took lots of photo's and the nurse took a piece of her hair for me to keep. I wanted to carry her to the mortuary, and as we stepped out the doors of A&E the sun beamed on her face. Alex and I treasure that short moment in time, when I carried our angel in the autumn sun. It was then I knew she was in a better place.
Soon after, Caitlin started to go cold and turn blue. Its this image that stays with me and its so upsetting. I try to picture her alive but its this image that is etched in my memory and I find it hard to get rid of.....
♰ ♥ ♰ ♰ ♥ ♰ ♰ ♥ ♰ ♰ ♥ ♰ ♰ ♥ ♰ ♰ ♥ ♰
We held our angel in the chapel of rest. We gave her lots of cuddles and talked to her. I sat and read the bible to her, I just felt I had to.We took 2 small teddies to look after her, and they remained with her for the post mortem at Great Ormond Street and in the funeral parlour. We placed a photo next to her face of Mummy, Daddy, Ria and Caitlin together. We gave her a bible, some bells that she got for her birthday and all of the family put in letters. She finally looked so peaceful and free of pain. We just didnt want to let go of her. Caitlin was just everything to us. Losing her has devastated our lives beyond belief. I still have nightmares about her birth and death. I would give anything to have her back for one cuddle. Just to see her pretty eyes and tell her I love her.

Caring for a disabled child is the hardest, but most rewarding thing anyone could ever do. Even without being able to communicate you develop such a strong bond - you know what they need, feel and think. They speak without words. They teach you things that you could never learn from a book. They are magical. They light up your life and teach you how to be a better person and how to love completely selflessly. I would have done anything for Caitlin, and I hope that she knows that I am so proud of her. Caitlin my sweetheart you are my all, and a big part of me has gone with you.

Caitlin was laid to rest at Falconwood Cemetery 8th November 2007. It was such a beautiful day. I spoke about Caits in the Church. The same chaplain who blessed her after she was born carried out her funeral service (Thanks David, for everything) Me and her Daddy carried her coffin, and everyone came to say goodbye to her. Caitlins Big Sister Ria released a dove for her, and everyone released pink and white balloons at her graveside. We asked everyone to wear something pink to honour her, and everyone did!!


Funeral poem I wrote for Caits;

God gave me a baby,
to love but not to keep,
He shone his light upon you,
and took you in your sleep

Even though we miss you,
I know your free of pain,
just wait for me in heaven,
I will hold you once again

Until the day I join you,
Mummy will shed tears,
but I know your not far away
I know your always here

Sweet dreams, Goodnight
and God bless,
my princess in the sky,
your now an angel and a star
Caitlin you must fly.

Love Mummy
xxxx



Psalm 23 Read at Caitlins funeral service;

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.


Caitlin, you can never be replaced or be forgotten. No amount of time can heal our broken hearts. We love you so very very much and always will. I know you are always with us, and will be there to greet us when its our time. Then we will never be apart again.
Play safe with the Angel's Caits. Sleep safe in the arms of Jesus.

As Nanny Violet used to say (Rip Nan x)

God Bless xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



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